Welcome To DirkFlix!

UPDATED 4/1/2025: Completely revised the When To See scale to reflect the extinction of rental stores and 2nd run dollar show theaters in today's streaming world. The original version of this can be visited here.
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Oh, fercryingoutloud! ANOTHER movie review blog?!? Another guy who thinks his opinion matters and wishes to inflict it on the overloaded Information Superhighway? (What ever happened to that buzzword? Haven't heard it in ages.) Why should we care?

A: Yes, yes, and why not?

The purpose of this blog when started after seeing Avatar in 2009 was to allow me to get back into the habit of reviewing movies and DVDs like I used to between 2004-2008 for IGN and The Digital Bits before life stuff and editorial differences ended those associations.

 Initially intended to not be 1000-2000 word chin-stroking epics, but mostly a few paragraphs about what I've been watching and whether they might be of interest to you, I unfortunately got slack about actually writing anything. While I logged and scored everything I've seen, I didn't write reviews in a timely manner and after a while and a dozen intervening movies, I couldn't remember enough specifics to properly review them, so they remained unpublished.

Since fixing hundreds of unwritten reviews is impossible, I've dedicated myself to knuckling down this year (2025), and as of this revised update only a few reviews need to be finished off out of over 40 this year. I may also go back and start publishing older reviews, even if they're just scores; perhaps adding a sentence or two. Use the hashtag options and search box to see if I saw something in particular.

With movies even more outrageously expensive and even an all-you-can eat service like Netflix and Amazon Prime can still cost you time (which is worth more than money because you can't make more of it), I give movies a numerical score (wow! original!) and how urgently it is for you to see it. Since the Hot Fad Plague of 2020-2022 completely upended going to the movies and everyone and their dog started subscription streaming services (as well as good old cable for Boomers), I have radically revised the When To See scale from six to basically three points:

 1. Pay full/matinee price to see it at a theater. Pretty self-explanatory. The rare times I now go see a movie theatrically, I'll rate whether it's worth going to the show and how much you should pay.

2. Catch it on cable/streaming. This is the most common recommendation now because I see the overwhelming majority of movies at home, but also not every movie needs the theatrical experience. Whether you choose to wait for it to come to your streamer/cable channel of choice, rent or buy it digitally, or hoist the black flag to obtain it, is up to your budget and/or morals. Movies with this ranking are worth your time.

3. Skip it. Even for free, life's too short to waste on bad movies.

For Blu-ray/DVD reviews, I'll recommend whether they're worth buying since there's no rental options anymore now that Redbox has joined Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, Family Video in oblivion. The quantity and quality of extras or the audio-visual quality factor heavily here.

As always, these reviews are just one lifelong movie fans opinions, except that unlike other critics & fans, mine is the only opinion that matters and all reviews are 100% correct in their judgements. If you disagree, that's fine, but understand that you are incorrect in your opinion. ;-)

 Enough of my yakking, let's review some movies!

"Normal" Review

The improbably late-life transformation of Bob Odenkirk into an action star even less plausible than Liam Neeson continues with Normal, an even less memorable title than his previous actioners - 2011's Nobody (unreviewed, 6/10) and 2025's Nobody 2 (5/10) - which probably accounted for it's bombing at the box office despite being the best of the trio of films, all penned by Derek Kolstad, the creator of the John Wick franchise. It's too bad because it's a little blast of a flick.

 Odenkirk plays Sheriff Ulysses, the temporary Sheriff for the fictional town of Normal, MN. The previous Sheriff accidentally died of hypothermia and Ulysses is there to fill in until they can elect a new Sheriff in a couple of months. He's staying in a motel and leaving expositionary voicemails with his estranged wife to keep us filled in.

Being a small town, everyone knows everyone and it's all very cute but he senses something off about things like how they were able to raise millions of dollars in a fundraising drive and why one of the deputies chases off Alex (Jess McLeod), the daughter of the deceased Sheriff, from attending the memorial. The town's Mayor (Henry Winkler) suggests Ulysses considering staying on permanently because he's low key style of policing - he leaves a note under the windshield of a car parked too close to a fire hydrant reading, "Park better." - he demurs.

One day an alarm sounds at the police station that the bank is being robbed. The couple robbing the bank (Reena Jolly & Brendan Fletcher) crossed paths with Ulysses the day before and when he sees they're inside attempting to do CPR on a customer who collapsed from the stress, he decides to holster his weapon and go in. What happens next flips everything on its head, causing some very unlikely alliances to form in response to the situation.

What follows is a often humorously grisly sequence of bloody events which the trailer manages nicely to hint at while not completely blowing the plot. What Kolstad and Odenkirk (who collaborated on the story) have created plays like a mashup of Nobody and Evil Dead 2 (without the Deadites) with the violence sparking laughs instead of screams. I haven't seen director Ben Wheatly's Free Fire (the time we tried to watch it, the missus tapped out in about five minutes, before it had gotten going), though I've heard good things; however, Meg 2: The Trench was awful (unreviewed; 3/10 skip it score), but Normal rocks.

Part of the fun is how the first act blatantly sets up all sorts of details which you KNOW are going to come into play by the end. Clever movies often reveal they were setting things up upon a rewatch, but Normal makes darn sure that we know "this is going to be important later" like when the hardware store owner mentions he has "stump removers" locked up or (in the trailer) the old lady at the knitting shop has a police scanner. (If Kolstad had come up with the trope of Chekov's Gun, he would've had the gun with a sign proclaiming, "THIS GETS FIRED LATER!")

 Clocking in at a lean 91 minutes, Normal spends a bit too much time in its first act setting up all the dominos, but when they start falling along with the snow in the blizzard, it's worth the wait. It didn't need a sequel, but it should've have bombed like it did. Show it some love now.

Score: 8/10. Catch it on cable/streaming.

"The Crash" Review

In 2022, on a pre-dawn morning in a suburb of Cleveland, OH, a Toyota Corolla traveling nearly 100 mph sailed through a T-intersection and into a building, tearing the car in half. Inside the wreckage, first responders found two dead young men - 20-year-old Dominic Russo and 19-year-old Davion Flanagan - as well as the driver, 17-year-old Mackenzie Shirilla, who was critically injured and was the girlfriend of Dominic. But the shock the residents of the town at this senseless loss of life was doubled when Shirilla was charged with murder of the boys on the basis of her never letting off the gas or touching the brakes before impact.

This is the story of The Crash, the new Netflix documentary recounting the investigation and her trial and conviction for murder. (Spoiler alert!) Interviewing her friends, her parents and those of the dead boys, and Assistant Prosecuting Attorney Tim Troup from the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s Office who assembled the case, along with copious video from her social media where she lived her best party girl life, we're given a portrait of a spoiled narcissistic brat who was enabled by parents who even now don't seem to feel their little princess did anything wrong. They didn't see a problem with her smoking Snoop Dogg amounts of weed or shacking up with Dom at only 17. At the sentencing, the judge admonished her mother for being so blithe about the deaths.

 Apparently this case has been covered in a couple of other shows and I've seen some comments that details were left out here like she may've checked out the route she took indicating premeditation, not a spur of the moment impulsive decision. When she appears to make her claim that she didn't do it - she claims she blacked out from a medical condition - it's just as contrived and remorseless as how she acted after the accident. (And according to stories that are running after this doc's release, she's just as bad in slam as she comes off here.) 

 Perhaps the filmmaker's intent was to just let Mackenzie and her folks speak for themselves, but it feels like some more details could've been included like amplifying what exactly was Dom's sources of income beyond some vape selling and a desire to make a fashion line. The terminally online nature of youth is also appalling to this old Gen Xer. No wonder life is meaningless and worthless to the soulless brats of today. 

Score: 6/10. Catch it on Netflix.

"Marty: Life Is Short" Review

 There's been a glut of documentaries recently examining various comedic performers like Steve Martin and Mel Brooks (whose two-part documentaries on Apple TV and HBO Max, respectively, I didn't review because they were more TV miniseries; they're OK, but not as exceptional as the subjects), Eddie Murphy, John Candy, Stiller & Meara, and even SNL writing legend Jim Downey as well as SNL's creator Lorne Michaels (haven't seen that yet).

Following this parade comes director Lawrence Kasdan's (Body Heat, The Big Chill) Netflix Original documentary profile of Martin Short, Marty: Life Is Short. Short has been a comedic mainstay for over 45 years first rising to prominence in the brilliant SCTV, before doing a year on SNL, then branching into movies of varying regard, stage work (winning two Tony Awards for Broadway musicals), up to his current run on Hulu's hit Only Murders In The Building with his longtime collaborator Steve Martin.

As someone who has watched Short since SCTV there wasn't much career-wise shown that I was unaware of but for young'uns who may only know him from Only Murders it is too superficial in rattling off clips of some of his roles with little insight. Why anyone thought having a then 40-year-old Short playing a 10-year-old in Clifford is never discussed. It's just chalked up as another commercial disappointment to move past, which he did by branching into Broadway.

The parallel theme is his 38-year-long relationship with Nancy Dolman whom he'd met in 1972 when she was Short's then on/off-again girlfriend Gilda Radner's understudy for the infamous production of Godspell which also starred Victor Garber (Alias) as Jesus; Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin, and Dave Thomas (all to go on to SCTV); as well as Paul Shaffer (musical director) and Howard Shore (saxophone) who'd go on to play on SNL with Shaffer moving on to become David Letterman's bandleader and sidekick and Shore moving into film scoring, winning three Oscars for his Lord of the Rings work. (Sorry for the digression; I just find this confluence of talent wild and want to share.)

Anyhoo, Short and Dolman were madly in love and when they couldn't get pregnant adopted three children. (The oldest daughter committed suicide earlier this year and the film is dedicated to her and Catherine O'Hara who also passed this year and is heavily featured.) They had a storybook romance as indicated by one interviewee relating that when she and her husband were in marriage counseling and were asked by the therapist if there was a couple whose relationship they wished theirs was more like, she said, "Marty and Nancy's," to which the therapist replied they weren't the first couple to reference them.

Chock full of home movies capturing their home life and festive parties filled with Hollywood A-listers like Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw - both of the couples had young families so all the kids would play together - as well as his SCTV co-stars, it's all very warm and wonderful and ultimately a bit dull.

Director Kasdan is longtime friend of Short's and just as when Rob Reiner did a recent documentary on his friend Albert Brooks, he's too friendly to the subject to be objective. I doubt Kasdan was covering up a history of meth-fueled hooker murders, but when everyone loves Martin and Nancy and was sad when she passed from ovarian cancer in 2010 after 30 years married and the only other really dark period was between 12 and 20 years of age when his eldest brother and parents died, the lack of career introspection leaves us at a remove when Short clearly isn't shying away from discussing anything. Kasdan simply doesn't care to dig in.

There is one hilarious home movie that Spielberg shot where Hanks and Short recreate the cliff jumping scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid but with them playing the parts as Forrest Gump and Ed Grimley. Spielberg is audibly laughing at the spectacle. There are also some clips of his Jiminy Glick character and it's clear where Zach Galifianakis got his Between Two Ferns premise from. 

While it lacks depth, Marty: Life is Short has plenty of warmth as it casually recounts what appears to be a rare decent bloke in the entertainment biz's life. 

Score: 7/10. Catch it on Netflix.

"Balls Up" Review

On paper, Balls Up, the latest Amazon Prime Video Original has a solid comedic pedigree as it's written by Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick (Zombieland & Deadpool series) and directed by Peter Farrelly of the Farrelly Brothers who ruled the 1990s with Dumb and Dumber, There's Something About Mary, and Shallow Hal and went on to direct 2018's Best Picture Oscar winner, Green Book. Big laughs guaranteed, right? Unfortunately, not enough of them.

Balls Up opens with Elijah (Paul Walter Hauser, if you've seen a movie with a schlubby fat guy who wasn't Jack Black in the past several years, that was him) stammering through a presentation rehearsal for a revolutionary condom he has designed which has extra material to also cover the berries in addition to the usual twig. He calls it The Testicle Sentinel.

The company boss, Burgess (SNL's Molly Shannon), tells him the pitch will be done by Brad (Marky Mark, "Good Vibrations", The Departed) from Sales and his pitch with the new name, Balls Up! (roll credits), wins over the head of the Brazilian Travel Ministry, Santos (Benjamin Bratt), who makes Balls Up! the official condom of the 2025 World Cup. However, the celebration gets wildly out of hand and Santos loses his position and the condom deal goes to a competitor. After this turn, Burgess fires Brad and Elijah along with other workers.

Three months later, a courier delivers a package to Brad containing a plane ticket and full VIP credentials to the World Cup Final. Apparently, despite the whole deal going sideways, the goodies weren't canceled for him and Elijah, whom he discovers is on the same flight. They decide to get along to attend the game, but after getting drunk, Elijah decides to attack the giant sausage mascot on the pitch. Brad chases after him to prevent trouble, but inadvertently interferes with what would've been Brazil's game-tying goal. Due to his interference, Brazil loses to arch-enemy neighbors Argentina. 

They are arrested, but turned loose on the streets where they would surely be lynched by the takes-their-football-VERY-seriously mobs. They briefly appear to be saved, but are then captured by armed men and taken to the jungle compound of cartel warlord Pavio (Sacha Baron Cohen in a bonkers performance). Because he won money on the game thanks to Brad's head, he won't kill them but he won't let them go either. To stay in his graces they pitch him the idea of using their larger condom to provide more carrying capacity for cocaine trafficking leading to a typical Farrelly low humor scene involving swallowing these huge phallic coke loads. After escaping the cartel, the pair encounter a weird group of anti-poachers in the jungle as they try to make their way home.

Balls Up starts off hilariously, but then has many long stretches of dullness punctuated by explosive moments of laughter like a scene where they're forced to do karaoke. This happens a lot in comedies as the first act is polished to a diamond mirror shine and then the rest just floats after it which is why surprises like Bottoms and Pizza Movie are such treats.

Cohen is clearly having fun doing a weird voice in a long flowing wig that makes him look like rock singer Sebastian Bach. Hauser does his usual weird fat guy thing and Marky Mark does his usual adequate comedic thing. (He only really seems to spark in the Ted movies.)

I thought Amazon was paywalling all HDR 4K content behind their even more expensive ad-free tier, but this came up as Dolby Vision allowing for some bright colors, but the cinematography is the blah overly bright look that modern comedies adhere to.

While not a total loss that goes tits up, Balls Up is too uneven and too long (104 mins) to score many goals. But when it does get funny, it gets VERY funny, but it just makes the lengthy lulls more lully.

Score: 5/10. Catch it on Prime Video.

"Nirvanna The Band The Song The Movie" Review

 I am totally unfamiliar with the Canuckian web series Nirvanna the Band the Show which ran from 2007-2009 and only got hipped to Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie because a couple of YouTubers I follow reviewed it and it involved a pair of musicians trying to get a gig at Toronto's Rivoli nightclub.

I am very familiar with this club because for almost 20 years the missus and I would attend the North by Northeast (NXNE) music festival and the Rivoli was on a strip on Queen St. along with The Legendary Horseshoe Tavern, The 360 Club, The Black Bull, and Cameron House which allowed for us to park once and then hit multiple clubs per cycle, walking in, seeing if we dig what's on stage, then hitting the next one if it didn't grab us. In 2016, organizers completely scrapped the format and we haven't been back since 2015. It appears they're going back to the old tons of bands in lots of clubs format, but Canuckia is a totalitarian hellscape how under occupation. C'est la vie.

Anyhoo, Matt Johnson and Jay McCarrol co-wrote and star as fictionalized versions of themselves who, 17 years after forming Nirvanna with hopes of playing the Rivoli, still haven't scored a gig there. Matt apparently is big on making elaborate plans and decides that they should do a publicity stunt where they parachute off the CN Tower into the adjacent SkyDome during a Toronto Blue Jays baseball game to promote the gig at the Rivoli they don't actually have.

They get on top of the CN Tower by buying tickets to the EdgeWalk, an actual experience where for $199 you get to walk outside 1,168 feet up attached to a harness. They cut themselves free of the safety line and jump, but due to an incoming lightning storm the SkyDome's roof was being closed and they don't make it inside.

Since this plan failed, Matt decides they should modify their RV to look like the DeLorean from Back to the Future and attempt to convince the Rivoli that they're time travelers so how about a gig. Fed up, Jay secretly calls a club in Ottawa to book a slot for an open mic night tomorrow. (The joke being it's 280 miles and a 4-1/2 hour drive between these cities and there surely have to be other open mics available in a city with a 3.3M population.)

The next morning, Jay hits the road unaware that Matt is sleeping in the back of the RV. When Matt wakes up, they argue while Jay drives and when the RV hits 88 kmh (heh) it suddenly travels back in time to 2008, though they don't immediately register what happened. (The way Matt discovers they're in the past by how a movie audience laughs at a now-forbidden word - no, it's not Blazing Saddles, but you're close - is clever.) Once they realize their predicament, they attempt to return to 2025, but Matt realizes that the time machine only worked because he spilled Orbitz - a novelty beverage that ceased production in 1999 - on the electronics. With the remaining contents lost when the bottle was broken, the only sure source would be their old apartment where they'll need to sneak in without encountering their younger selves.

Needless to say something goes wrong and when they return to the present the world has changed and Jay is now a major rock star and Matt is the drummer in a Jay McCarrol tribute band. Matt attempts to get to Jay to set things right, but Jay dismisses him until he finds himself wanted by the police and teams up with Matt to get the time machine working to undo the damage. With no Orbitz available, they copy the method used in Back to the Future in an absolutely impossible scheme to restore the timeline.

While time travel movies are generally logically suspect, they really play fast and loose with what happens and don't really try to make it make sense. Apparently the Jay we start with steps into the life of the alternative timeline Jay, but how does he know the Rock Star Jay's material without raising suspicions and what happens to that Jay when the fit hits the shan? Don't know.

The way Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie tells its story is via a pseudo-documentary shooting style where they filmed guerilla style on the streets of Toronto, interacting with people and even cops (who are doing a very bad job of protecting places), like Borat did, but referencing the guys running the cameras occasionally. They use old footage from their web series to create the interactions with their younger selves - no de-aging or old age makeup here, just a bunch of invisible VFX work all over the place elsewhere - and the way they stage things involving the CN Tower is pretty wild. (The way they utilized a  real-life shooting at Drake's mansion to film scenes is another great behind-the-scenes detail.)

Because of my familiarity with Toronto's music clubs, the funniest detail is this obsession with the Rivoli when there are other far more famous venues like the El Mocambo, where Stevie Ray Vaughn and Elvis Costello cut live albums, or Lee's Palace, a setting for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World's bass battle between Michael Cera and Brandon Routh. Sneaky Dee's, The Silver Dollar, Bovine Sex Club, and the Horseshoe Tavern are all more prominent clubs, not that Rivoli is bad - it's just a smallish back room behind a restaurant and bar front - but unless you're from Toronto or a visitor or, I presume, a viewer of the web series, how would you appreciate this?

This isn't to say you might not find more laughs in this low key shaggy time travel pastiche. I was somewhat surprised how flat it left me; the missus liked it a lot FWIW. But I do credit it for being something different than the usual formula even though it plays a bit like Temu Lonely Island.

Score: 5/10. Catch it on cable/streaming.