Sunday, March 2, 2014

2014 Oscars Livesnark

Another year, more snark, mostly on Twitter. Refresh for updates...
  • If you had Ellen wearing a dress in the pool, what were you thinking?
  • Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto are both wearing white tux jackets, so it appears they'll be serving drinks at the after-party.
  • The Somali guy from Captain Phillips is this year's Hang S. Nygor, except he won't be winning.  
  • Yummy Girl! Short hair looks decent.  
  • Jared Leto wins and dedicates it to his mom and bro first. Shouts out to Ukraine and Venezuela and has to be running long.  
  • Ellen's opening monologue was OK. Missing Seth McFarlane now.  Jim Carrey is scaring me.
  • At the rate of one award per 1/2 hour, they won't be done with the  until sometime Tuesday. Pharrel's wearing his Malcolm McLaren hat.
  • At this rate, I could watch Walking Dead & Girls and only miss 3-4 . Naomi Watts looks like she's auditioning for Young Hillary Story.
  • How does Catching Fire not get nominated for Costumes or Makeup ? How about The Hobbit being snubbed for Hair & Makeup? Lame.
  • Channing Tate-yum comes out to intro contest winners which is the only way he'll be at the . Dude, your Magic Mike bro's gonna win!
  • It's ironic that Kim Novak is out there for animation considering her face is absolutely immobile. Scary  time!
  • Kim Novak is 81. Her face is not.  
  • Frozen wins for Best Animated Feature, a category Pixar's weak Monsters University wasn't even nommed for. Good. Pixar blows now.  
  • Gravity wins Best VFX, filling in the Free Space on your  bingo card. Just as with Life of Pi, if it didn't win, it was riot time.
  • Wouldn't it be awesome if Pharrell's dancers came out behind Karen O and whoever that guy is at the ? Total mood clash!
  • Haven't seen 20 Feet From Stardom yet, but it's interesting to see the  go for a non-political film, like Sugar Man or Motown.
  • Whoa, whoa, Darlene Love; who said you could mention God in front of all these people at the  who think they are?
  • This Ellen wandering the audience stuff at the is the worst Samsung Galaxy Note 3 ad ever. OK, let's see that selfie!
  • Down in front, you're blocking AJ! RT If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever.
  • Lupita Nyong'o is the first Klingon to win at the . (That's what the apostrophe in her name means, right?)
  • Does anyone think this pizza delivery running gag that's holding up the  show is funny? Lame callback to when Steve Martin did nosh.
  • HELL YEAH! Bill Murray shouts out to Harold Ramis at the . I don't think Gravity should've won Cinematography; it's all VFX, like Pi.
  • Why is Pink singing at the ? Haven't wasted enough time been wasted on Ellen's phone ad wandering? Double-sided tape is the most worn.
  • Does this Oz dress blow the Ellen  pool? Jennifer Garner is wearing Anne Hathaway's old Oscar-hosting dress. Make it swish!
  • Boy, sleep with the director (Baz Luhrman) and win ! Two of them! It appears they're not going to play anyone off for talking long.
  • Once again, the  People Who Died montage isn't backed by Jim Carroll's "People Who Died." It's a gimme, folks! Make it happen!
  • Suck it, Obama!   
  • I wonder who else noticed Sarah Jones, the 27-year-old camera asst who was hit by a train the other day, when the  went to break?
  • AAAIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!! Goldie Hawn, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!!! Scary  again.
  • Why does Idina Menzel sound like a pitchy American Idol contestant with mushy diction when she sang it so well in the movie? Weird.  
  • Glad Gravity's score won. Really did what music is supposed to do. Steven Price got a handshake from John Williams, who IS Movie Score God.
  • So glad "Let It Go" won over U2's drab pander. And the writers got the EGOT! Cute acceptance speech!  
  • From Undercover Brother to winning an Oscar for 12 Years A Slave. Way to go John Ridley. Whoa! Spike Jonze won?!? Play "Cannonball!"  
  • Sidney Potier is 87. So is his face. Thank God for that. Alfonso Cuaron wins Best Director for his 2nd . Will he turn the hat trick?
  • Cate Blachett's  dress looks like it has fishing lures all over it. Haven't seen Blue Jasmine yet, but Amy Adams was great in Hustle.
  • Matthew McConaughey (yeah, I have to Google the spelling) completes his career overhaul at the . 6 years ago he was in Surfer, Dude.
  • I guess those billboards playing the White Guilt Card - "It's time." - paid off for 12 Years A Slave at the . Guess I'll watch it now
  • Overall, Ellen was pleasant, but bland. The  show lacked surprises and could've been under 3 hours if they'd cut the schtick.
Well, that's a wrap, folks! Thanks for reading. See ya next year.
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