This will be quick: Saw Colombiana in August 2011 and didn't like it and somehow haven't watched it since. It hasn't improved. And after rewatching the mediocre Point of No Return again less than a week ago, the formulaic cookie cutter repetition of Luc Besson's 2nd-tier works really becomes obvious.
All the issues I had in my original review stand, but it was interesting how much I'd forgotten beginning with how almost the first half-hour is dedicated to Amandala Stenberg's young Cataleya and how she was a blank-faced wooden actress long before she stunk up The Acolyte. The Point of No Return rehash comes when Sensitive Artist Booty Call Boyfriend turns down Happy Fun Time to pester her with details about her life, just like how Sensitive Photographer Boyfriend gets snippy about how American Nikita keeps secrets after they've been shacked up already.
But to really show how slapdash the script is, it opens in 1992 and her father gives the crime lord a pack of floppy diskettes with cartel info on them. Later, figuring the cartel is about to kill him, he gives Cataleya a SmartMedia card to swallow to keep the info from the cartel. Later on she's seen looking at a Xena: Warrior Princess comic book. Being a nerd, the sudden appearance of the memory card sent me looking for info and I found that both the short-lived flash memory format and Xena weere introduced in 1995, three years later.
This is compounded by the title card "15 YEARS LATER" which would be 2007. The movie came out in 2011, so why in blue blazes did they not simply set the prologue in 1996 when both SmartMedia and Xena existed? Yes, this is petty stuff, but considering all the work that's done to source props, etc. did no one point this out? So lazy like everything else about this.
As for the Blu-ray, the picture and sound as fine. Not going to go into detail because we're not doing the "Green Lantern is a great demo disc" nonsense in this dojo where we buy bad movies to show off the home theater when there are good movies which are demo-worthy. There's also about an hour's worth of extras and - speaking of Green Lantern - there's always some ironic pleasure in watching people talking about all the hard work they did in bringing the characters to life and their nuanced takes on them when the final product turned out just plain bad. (The extras on Wonder Woman 1984 made me feel sorry for everyone to be so disconnected from the reality they live in.)
Unless all you want is to see a sweaty Zoe Saldana in skimpy figure-hugging clothes, give Colombiana a miss.
Score: 3/10. Skip it.







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