24 S8.22 – “Ain’t No Stopping The Jack Rush!”
• PELB is basking in his good press. Can’t wait for Jack to chew his ears off.
• Dominic calls from the scene of Sniperov’s demise and warns PELB that Jack seems really interested in finding him.
• Blonde Ambition is still whining about what Jack did. Would someone slap this twit, please?
• Chumpy wraps a meeting with the happy-looking Widow Regis. (WTF? I once lost 10 lbs. in a week after a breakup. I wasn’t looking chipper.)
• PELB lets Chumpy know that it’s all going to hell. Chumpy realizes she’s FUBAR. Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
• Chloe and Drone Boy see what Jack did to Sniperov and ID Mr. White. Ivanka is snooping at them.
• White tells Jack where PELB is going and Jack tells him to burn the evidence of their connection, thus disbanding the Gruffy-Voiced Men Club.
• Chumpy tells Aaron Lite to get the FBI to roll BA’s offices. He’s suspicious. Can’t anyone lie smoothly?
• BA calls her editor and sets a meet. I’m all a flutter. (Note: I’m not.)
• Jack turns into One-Man Army and stops the motorcade with the Worst. Security. Ever. – come on, even a weasel like PELB gets decent Secret Service protection – and smokes out PELB. Looks like no kills as Jack does the SS guys T2 style again.
• Chloe and DB figure out who White is. He has all that stuff and a couple of grunt analysts can figure out he’s not dead in 10 minutes?
• Jack makes PELB sweat so bad that Nixon’s ghost feels sorry for him and then chokeholds him. (Jack does, not Nixon.)
• Chloe gets all Yoda and says, ”There is another,” and goes to call someone to get White. Who could it be? I’m guessing Aaron, cuz he’s the only one who hasn’t been brought back for a victory lap.
• Oh, boo. Damp Boi? Bleah. Chloe slaps down Ivanka, making her have the annoyed face.
• Editor tips BA that the Feds are there. Real Ben Bradley moves there. Not.
• Chloe springs Damp Boi and sends him after White.
• Jack beats up Ivan’s driver for the intel and then caps two guards, though one of them gets to stab Jack before Jack manages to make him stab himself. Isn’t this the second time today that Jack got stabbed? What’s up with that?
• Damp Boi still thinks Jack’s out of control and promises to cap him. Ooooooh, big man.
• BA calls Fajita and tells her the Ruskies were behind Regis’ demise.
• Whoops! She gets pinched by the FBI and they’ve got the evidence. FAIL! Aaron Lite tells Chumpy they have the evidence.
• Dominic calls Ivan to warn him and in the best jump cut of the season, we see the bloody aftermath of Jack’s strike on the Ruskies room. Head shot and a FIREPLACE POKER(!!!!) in Ivan’s gut?!?! YOWZA!!! Four more kills. And a carpet-cleaning charge.
• PELB calls Big Ivan and has a lengthy conversation full of admissions of guilt. It’s gotta be bugged.
• Yep! Jack’s pinned a mike on PELB’s collar and is taping all of this, but he’s bleeding pretty bad.
Thoughts: This week had a strong whiff of the crazy vibe that informed Season 7 where it didn’t matter if it was preposterous, as long as it was action-packed and entertaining. Jack On Fire is sorta working, but something’s gotta give with Prez Chumpy’s totally succumbing to Sudden Little Bitch Syndrome.
Hardcores: Jack, Jack, Jack, and JACK!!!!
Little Bitches: PELB, Prez Chumpy, Ivan in the hotel room with the poker.
Up Next: The big finish. Unless they’re lying about making movies and whack Jack – which would require the producers to go into hiding deeper than Salman Rushdie – it’s going to end up in a Pyrrhic victory at best and probably something downbeat and sad.
Episode Score: 8/10
JBBC: Jack busts caps in four while poking one in a manner too strong for Facebook brings the total to 132 kills.24
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